


Elastic Heart

by divenire



Series: Ba Sing Se Lights [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29430336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divenire/pseuds/divenire
Summary: After almost kissing Katara, Zuko disappears for two weeks in the Fire Nation. Upon his return, he rushes to her to apologize.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Ba Sing Se Lights [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161743
Comments: 38
Kudos: 89





	Elastic Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there!  
> Once again things got out of hand and I broke The Text Fic Rule. This is another missing moment from the [Modern AU](https://zk-modernau.tumblr.com/) I'm running on Tumblr.  
> I felt this moment was too delicate to be handled with texts. It wasn't easy to write, I think I rewrote it at least twice and I'm still not fully satisfied with it. I hope you all enjoy it!

_And I know that I can survive_

_I'll walk through fire to save my life_

* * *

Katara climbed down the last few steps of the staircase with the heart in her throat and a grip on her stomach that seemed to want to devour her from the inside.

She could not remember the last time she had felt so jittery that her thoughts had become clouded and her hands had trembled so badly that she had been unable to close the front door at the first attempt. She had spent the last hour pacing the floor between her bedroom and the kitchen with her nervous footsteps; every attempt to start an activity to distract her brain from that one fixed thought had proved futile.

She had tried to prepare the vegetables for dinner and the result had been a potato halved in the pan and then forgotten on the sink, along with the dishes to be washed. She had tried to tidy the wardrobe and now she would be greeted by all her clothes spilled on the bed and shoes and bags strewn on the floor on her return. 

Luckily, her brother wasn't home. As much as she could have used someone to vent her frustration against, she was in no mood to put up with his sarcastic comments and teasing. No, she needed the silence of her flat, the ticking of the clock in the living room and the sound of the rain beating relentlessly against her bedroom window.

Katara opened the building door with trembling hands and stepped out into the rain, a stupid, thick rain that would only ruffle her straightened hair and ruin her shoes.

It was all so stupid.

First of all, it was stupid to feel that way, she was perfectly aware of that.

It was just Zuko, just Zuko, and that was just a talk. Why did she feel her stomach turn upside down and her heart beat faster than when she had just finished a 100-meter freestyle race?

God, it seemed like ages since she'd last seen him, but it had only been two weeks. Two weeks in which she had done nothing but torment herself by rereading and analysing all the conversations she had had with the boy, looking for non-existent signs of his absurd behaviour. Two weeks in which she had spent hours tossing and turning in bed at night, thinking of those last minutes with him, of his lips so close to hers that she could feel their warmth and dream of their taste. And when sleep finally came, deluding her into a few moments of oblivious bliss, he would find a way to haunt her even there, chasing her in her dreams, taking her hand and brushing her lips before dissolving into nothingness, leaving her alone, in the cold and with that damned jacket of his that continued to observe her when she woke up from a forgotten corner of her room.

Katara took a deep breath.

The truth was that she had no idea what to expect from that conversation. Part of her wanted to do nothing more than throw her arms around his neck and relieve him of all the pain he was obviously feeling now. Another part of her wanted to yell at him and hold all the things he had said to her against him.

_"Why aren’t you minding your own business?"_

His father had been arrested, Heaven knows why. Anyone would have behaved badly, she thought. She probably would have misbehaved herself. But was that why Zuko was acting like this? Katara was sure that the boy had only told her a tiny part of what had happened. She was sure it was only the tip of the iceberg and that beneath the dark waters of the ocean of his past lay a vastness of pain she could not even imagine.

Katara took another breath. It was not the time to dwell on such things, not the time to trap her mind in those endless thoughts, not now that she had spotted his car and her heart had shot out of her chest.

As she approached the car, she saw through the window that Zuko was leaning against the seat, his eyes closed, his head slightly bent to the side and his arms crossed over his chest. He seemed to be asleep.

Katara opened the door and the boy jumped. 

"Hey, Katara! I’m sorry ..."

The first line of defense in the girl's head and heart was annihilated the moment Zuko's tired eyes met hers and the corners of his mouth lifted into a half smile. Zuko's hair was longer than it had been the last time she had seen him, his face terribly pale, the red scar burning on his fair skin, and he looked as if he had not slept for a long time.

Katara felt her heart soften. No, she couldn't let him win so easily.

"When was the last time you slept?" She told him, stepping into the car and closing the door.

Zuko chuckled in response and looked at her as if bewitched. Katara felt her own cheeks go up in flames.

"Thanks for coming." He told her, fastening his seat belt. Katara nodded and waited for him to start the car.

"Do you want to go somewhere in particular?"

"It's raining."

"Unfortunately. I would have liked to go to the lake, too bad."

Zuko drove off and Katara tried to keep her gaze fixed on the road, watching the cars whizz by, the city lights blurred in the rain, the tiny droplets chasing each other across the window in a race of their own. People walked on the pavements, taking cover with umbrellas, others waited for the rain to stop, taking cover under the roofs of the buildings. Katara had always loved to watch life flow by through the car window, catching the small gestures of everyday life that took place under her melancholic gaze, of mothers chasing their children, shopkeepers repairing goods, old people sitting on benches.

"If you want ... The chocolate is there, I don't want it to get cold."

Zuko's voice pulled her from her thoughts and Katara finally turned to look at him, a new sadness in her eyes. She nodded and took the chocolate, warming her hands with the still-warm glass before taking a sip.

"Thank you, you shouldn't have."

Zuko shrugged. Katara noticed that the hand he had placed on the wheel trembled slightly.

"I like blueberry muffins." She told him, hoping to relieve the now unbearable tension. 

It had never been like this between them. From the first moment they had met, they had been perfectly comfortable with each other. Katara couldn't help but think back to their first date, when she'd gotten into that car for the first time and his scent had made her head spin. That memory still warmed her heart. It was crazy how they had met and how their relationship had evolved in such a short time. 

At that moment, Katara realized that she didn't want to lose him. That boy who had appeared in her life overnight and brought her extra biscuits when she visited the tea shop and who had made her a playlist for her birthday.

That boy who had completely disappeared after almost kissing her, leaving her for two whole weeks tormenting herself again and again, turning in her hands that stupid bracelet he had given her and that she had continued to wear.

Zuko's gaze fell for a split second on her wrist and Katara blushed again. 

"Me too. I hope these from this bakery are good."

Silence fell again and Katara tried to figure out where they were going. They had come out of the Middle Ring and the road they had taken was not too busy.

Thunder exploded in the sky and the rain began to fall harder. Zuko began to slow down and stopped the car in an open space. The heavy rain obscured the view, but Katara knew that if it were a nice day, she could have seen the entire Middle Ring from there.

"I didn't know where to go." Zuko told her, turning off the car and unbuckling his belt. 

"One place is as good as another." She replied, her throat suddenly dry.

Katara unbuckled her own belt and decided to turn towards Zuko, who was nervously drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

Zuko opened his mouth a couple of times, only to close it again immediately, evidently not knowing what to say to her or how to start any kind of conversation.

"Zuko ..."

"Katara, I owe you an apology." He said to her suddenly, meeting her gaze. There was a new resolve in his eyes, which had somehow replaced the tiredness and fear. "I acted like an idiot ..."

"Yeah. You really did."

The boy nodded, as if to confirm his faults.

"And I owe you an explanation, if you will listen to me." He added, his voice a little less firm. 

"That's why I'm here."

Zuko ran a hand over his face. Katara straightened herself on the seat, waiting silently for the boy to find the words.

"God, I don't even know where to start."

Zuko swallowed. His gaze was fixed on his knees and when he spoke his voice began to tremble. Katara felt that grip on her stomach again, this time for completely different reasons.

"Do you ... Do you remember when I told you about my mother's death?" 

Katara nodded quickly, a lump in her throat. Zuko took a deep breath.

"I found out seven years ago. I was seventeen and my father told me out of the blue that my mother had died in a car accident.

For six years I hadn't asked questions. For six long years I'd been too afraid of my father to ask him what happened to my mother..." He shook his head, as if he didn't believe his own words. "And suddenly the truth was in front of me." He continued.

"My mother had died. In my heart I had known it for a long time, but hearing it from my father ... It had suddenly become real. I don't even know if a part of me still hoped to see her again. The truth is that I had lost all hope of ever being happy in that house.”

Katara resisted the temptation to take his hand and squeeze it tightly.

"I never knew the details of that day. I never knew if she was alone in the car, if it happened during the day or at night ... I never knew anything. Nobody ever knew anything."

His voice was struggling to come out at that point and his fingers were clenched so fiercely around the steering wheel that his knuckles whitened.

"A few months ago, the case of her death was reopened. I didn't know anything about it, but Azula told me that someone must have talked. Someone who knew something and hid it for years."

Katara began to understand where the speech was going. She brought a hand to her mouth, incredulous at what she was hearing.

"It was all bullshit, Katara ... _He did it_ ... He killed her ..."

Katara’s eyes filled with tears. She wanted to take his hands, to hold him tightly, but she was paralyzed by the weight of his words and the rage and trembling and hurt in his voice. Zuko continued to stare at an indistinct point in front of him, in that absurd balance found between anger and pain that kept him on his toes and prevented him from falling into the void.

"My father had found out that my mother was planning to take me and Azula and run away. " He continued through clenched teeth, his voice growing less and less firm. "And he threatened her ... He threatened to kill _me_ if … If she did such a thing..." 

"Oh my God, Zuko..."

"... but in the end, he killed her ..."

The words died in his throat, lost in the tremor of his voice.

Katara tentatively stretched out a hand towards him, afraid of breaking the shell that held his pieces together.

"Oh, Zuko ... I'm so sorry ..." She whispered to him, gently resting her hand on the boy's, drawing small paths across his skin with her thumb. The boy finally turned to look at her, and Katara felt herself sink before the pain in his gaze.

She brought her other hand to his cheek, his scarred cheek, and gently traced the outline of his scar. Zuko closed his eyes and let her caress lull him.

Katara had totally forgotten any anger or resentment she had felt towards him. She drew him to her and pulled him into an embrace. Zuko did not resist and let her arms encircle him, resting his head in the crook of her neck, his eyelashes tickling her skin.

"Come here."

She whispered to him, her voice barely audible. One of her hands ran up his back, the other began to stroke his hair, as gently as she could.

"I'm so sorry, Zuko ... I'm so sorry ..."

Katara closed her eyes and rested her head on the boy's, leaving a small kiss in his hair.

They stayed like that for an indefinite time, with the sound of the rain covering their broken breaths.

Katara found herself thinking again of those two weeks as she ran her fingers through the boy's hair. Of his anger, of the reason why he had come back to the Fire Nation, of the song he had played to her a few days before on his mother's old piano and the new meaning of those words. It was all so absurd. She knew how messed up Zuko's family was, but this ... This was beyond anything she could have ever imagined.

"Katara ..."

Zuko pulled away slightly from her embrace to look into her eyes. "I'm sorry if I took it out on you."

Katara shook her head. "It's okay, Zuko."

"No, I've been an idiot. It's not the first time I've behaved like this ..." He admitted with a shadow of regret in his voice. "And I don't know how long I would have kept it up, if ... If some people hadn't made me realize that picking on those who care about me isn't a great way to make the world pay for it."

Katara smiled and stroked his cheek again. Zuko shuddered at the contact. 

"No, I would say it is not."

Zuko smiled in turn and placed a small kiss on her wrist. It was Katara's turn to shudder, but Zuko didn't notice as he returned to take refuge in her arms. Katara smiled into his hair at that sudden rush of affection, at the way Zuko was finally letting go.

"I want to leave it all behind, Katara. All of them, everything that happened in that place." He told her after a few moments of silence.

"Before I left ..." He added, with a tremor in his voice. "Before I left, I went to visit my father in prison."

Katara stopped stroking his hair for a moment in surprise.

"How did it go?" She asked him tentatively. "What did you tell him?" 

"That he can rot in hell, as far as I'm concerned."

The girl squeezed him a little tighter.

"What he did to my mother... What he did to me..."

His voice began to be full of anger again. Katara could not even imagine what it must have been like for Zuko to live in a house with such a man. Her home had always been a place full of love, and even when her mother had died, even when her father had had to leave them with their grandmother for work and she had been terribly angry at him, she had never stopped thinking that she was loved.

Looking at the boy in her arms, she wondered how it was possible to be so cruel.

She caressed the features of his pale face and her fingers stopped again to trace the outline of his scar. A terrible thought struck her, and the words automatically came out of her mouth. 

"It was him, wasn't it?" She asked in a voice so small and shaky that she thought he couldn't hear her. Or maybe she hoped so. Part of her wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

Zuko paralyzed for a moment and tightened his eyes, but then nodded slowly. 

"I was thirteen years old."

For the second time that day, Katara felt tears streaming down her face. It was not possible, no one could be so cruel, no one could ever be so cruel as to deliberately scar a young boy's face. She did not even care to know the reason, because no reason in the universe could ever justify that act.

"Why are you crying?"

This time, it was Katara who sank her face into the crook of his neck and drowned in his perfume. 

"I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you, Zuko..."

“I know ...” 

A few moments passed, before he added, “Thank you for listening to me."

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all of this.”

They looked into each other's eyes, perhaps for a moment too long. Heat reached both their cheeks and Katara looked away.

"Katara... I care about you. I was stupid to push you away."

Katara smiled, a sad smile, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek, before resting her head on his shoulder and going back to staring at the rain falling on the windscreen. Zuko took her hand and intertwined their fingers.

Suddenly the silence between them was no longer filled with that unbearable tension. Katara wished that moment would never end. A tiny part of her was afraid that Zuko would vanish again, but from the way he held her and caressed her hand, she was sure he wouldn't.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes and saw that Zuko had his eyelids closed again. She could not help but smile.

"Maybe we should go home. You need sleep."

Zuko opened his sleepy eyes again and smiled at her. 

"Yeah, we should."

He hesitated for a moment, as if he did not want to let her go. 

"You haven't eaten your muffin yet."

Katara chuckled and leaned over to take the small packet.

"Shall we split it?"

Zuko gave her the first real smile that afternoon.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I would love to read your feedbacks!


End file.
